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Friday, 01 July 2011

  • Not a fan.

    Can I just say that I feel on the verge of tears right now?

    No need for concern, I promise. It's probably a mix of me not having cried in quite some time and...being hungry. Yeah. Remember that? I get really emotional when I'm hungry. I'm going to go pick E up (he's still at work) downtown and I'll bring him some food from Wendy's and I was thinking I should eat something as I drive there. We have leftover pizza from last night in the fridge. I thought that would be easy...and then I wondered whether I could. And then I get all nervous and know that I have to just breathe slowly and step myself through things. Yes, being hungry brings on anxiety attacks. Not always, but sometimes. And tonight is a sometimes. And I know it comes up moreso tonight because we leave on our bicycle trip tomorrow and...we're not ready. At all. Getting things planned was messed up tonight because of E working late. And last night we lost power at 7 or something and it was out all night, so no computer-related planning could be done. Which makes for 2 unproductive nights in a row...which I'm not a big fan of. Plus we've had the little one since Tuesday and when we won't get to see him for a couple weeks it's not like we want to be all "well, we have this thing to plan, so...just play in your room by yourself for awhile." I think I'm gonna miss that little guy quite a lot.

    But right now I need to leave. And breathe. Slowly. And eat some food. And everything will be ok.

    Did I mention I'm not a fan of anxiety? Not a fan at all.

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

  • Padded Butt

    So...I've already broken my goal in week 1. But the difference is that I THOUGHT about blogging on a couple nights. I was really just too dang tired and had too dang much to do to actually write one.

    This weekend I learned how to drive a boat. A sailboat. No motors required. That means class Friday (after a full day of work) until 9 or later...without dinner. So we biked from class to a restaurant and then all the way home. Saturday and Sunday class was from about 9:30-5:00. Those are 2 LONG days. Some in the classroom, some out on the water. Saturday night was also Swing Out Rockford (annual dance) and since E had to do some changes for work (starting at like 10pm), I decided to head down thataways. Got there around 8:30...danced until a little after 11:00. Then since the dance was on my college campus, I went and visited a couple people I met on the Alternative Spring Break trip I went on (as one of the old fogey alum types) that are staying on campus over the summer. Left just after midnight and got home about 1:45. And got up in enough time to bike to sailing class. Oot woot!

    The best part about the dance Saturday was probably that I got a birthday dance. It was a long, long song (or at least seemed like it), but I got to dance with more leads than I normally ever would during the night because I'm not known as a super good dancer and therefore don't get asked to dance all that often. But everybody wants to be part of a birthday dance, so I got little snippets with some pretty amazing leads. For the most part I danced alright, but I'm pretty sure I still don't dance as well as I used to since I've hardly danced at all in the past year (CPA exam...boo!) There was one lead that I just...couldn't really get into a good lindy groove with. But we danced 6-count later and that didn't work all that great either, so I think our styles just didn't mesh. At all. It made me feel bad. Generally I have good enough frame to be able to follow pretty well...but I just couldn't get this.

    The rest of my time has been filled with bike trip planning. It's Tuesday night. We leave Saturday morning. Do you know how soon that is? Really. Basically it's 3 days. Basically we are still not ready yet. But last night I did venture out to REI and bought some cycle clothes and some camping food and such...spent kind of a lot of money. Cycle clothes are expensive. But I can use them lots of times. I now officially own my first pair of padded butt shorts.

Monday, 20 June 2011

  • Experiment!

    You may (or may not) have noticed that I'm notsomuch a frequent poster anymore. CPA exam can't be an excuse anymore because I took it almost a month ago and haven't had a study day since. Life is just so busy! And fun!

    Mostly I've just gotten out of the habit of regular writing, which I miss quite a lot. Now I feel like there's this big block of my life that will have no written memories, which is a sad thing. I haven't even kept a written journal. So this is me, saying I'm going to make it a goal to post more often. But this is not a SMART goal, so I guess I'll have to pick a number. I want to post (on average) 2-3 times per week. At least. (3 seems like a lot because that's almost every other day, but then 2 doesn't seem like many at all...)

    Today is a good day to start because it's Monday. Today wasn't the happiest of Mondays, but it wasn't bad either. Allergies bogged me down a bit this morning, but E made breakfast, so I was able to be lazy and stay in bed longer. I always seem to get into work a bit later than would be my ideal on days we have the little one, but I'm generally there by around 9:00 so it's never too terrible late. Today, however....well, it rained. And I mean it RAINED. Torrential downpour style. We did not bike to work. That would have been suicide. But walking to a bus stop in a torrential downpour results in...soaked EVERYTHING. Ok, that's a little bit of an embellishment. I did have a rain coat on that goes down just past my bum. There was no time to search for an umbrella and still hope to make the bus, so we jogged to the stop one past the closest because it has an overhang to stand under. Woot! I could still wring out my hair and get plenty of water out of it by the time I got there though. And my pants got pretty soaked...the fronts and bottoms at least. Once downtown, I only had to go across 1 street and then maybe 1/6th of a block because the south doors of the bank were open because I got there just after 9. But in that little bit, I got COMPLETELY soaked again.

    I should note here, that I actually enjoy these kind of rainstorms. My preference would have been warmer weather, but apparently summer just doesn't exist in Milwaukee, so I'm thankful that it wasn't a bitterly cold rain. When I walked in, my coworkers were like, "Wow. You are drenched." Yes. I was. Thank you very much. I went to the bathroom and squeezed my hair into paper towels to dry it out a bit.

    That really was the best part of the day. I got slightly motion sick on the bus ride home (even with SeaBands!), but I think it's maybe because I didn't drink enough water today. All I had was tea. Oops. Bad me.

    And now I am working on planning our bike trip...which no one probably knows about because I haven't been writing. hah.

    E and I are biking (like bicycle) around Lake Michigan. Not all the way though. Manitowoc, WI to Ludington, MI...then ferry back to Manitowoc. I had gotten through the basic route plan of day 12 (it's a planned 16 day trip - pretty leisurely only going 30-40 miles/day) only...in working on the plan for the last few days, I realized we need another day. Really. Now...I threw a couple short days in there and we have a complete day off with no scheduled bike time...but I don't really want to change that because I don't want this to be a rushed trip. We're just supposed to enjoy our time. Plus, neither of us have done a long bike trip before. Based on my first (and so far only) backpacking experience, I'm sure there are going to be some days when we are more tired than others. So switching up and throwing a couple shorter days in is nice. And if the time constraints were just that we had to be back to work on Monday, then it wouldn't be a huge deal. One more day could always be taken off. But...E's mom is flying into town and bringing the little one back (little one will be spending time with grandparents out of state while we're on the trip)...and so...we kind of have to be there the day they get in. I don't think it's possible for us to get in before their flight, but we can get in not too long after they land.

    So here's my current dilemma. The options for ferries leaving Ludington are 8:30am and 9:00pm. We really need to get on the 8:30am ferry ON day 16 of our trip. But as currently scheduled, we have to bike 30-something miles on day 16...which makes it real easy to catch the 9pm ferry but...I don't want to get up to start biking before sunrise to catch the early one. Not gonna happen. And I don't really want to reformat the whole trip...fudging a few miles here and there so we can get there at the right time...but we might need to. Unless...I wonder if we can just do it backwards...ferry at the beginning and bike from Ludington to Manitowoc...hmm...

    See how good writing is for me? It's like critical thinking/problem solving!

    Now I must go experiment!

Monday, 23 May 2011

  • Freak Out

    Yeah. I know. It's been ages. Months and ages. But! I have passed 2 sections of the CPA exam...and I am taking section 3 on Wednesday.

    The point of this entry is really just to de-stress myself. I feel you should be forewarned of this.

    The theme of tonight is: Nothing. Is. Working.

    So. Exam is Wednesday. Today is Monday. I took off tomorrow to study. Yay. I was working on a project at work today that should be quite helpful to the other worker-bees and since I'm not going to be back at work until Thursday, I really wanted to get as much of it done as possible today. I was close...it was really just a combining/consolidation of 3 or 4 spreadsheets into 1. Easy back and forth tying out. Just a bit time consuming. Things were going well. But I was rushed. Very rushed. I didn't even do the 3pm stair climb. (Aside: The stair climb is when some coworkers and I take the elevator to the basement and walk up to the top of the building - about 21.5 flights.) I'd already done a trek up in the morning, so I didn't feel super bad about skipping, but...generally I don't like to skip out on stairs. I'm the one that started this daily trek. Not really a big deal though. Except the extra 15-20 minutes didn't help me to finish on time.

    E texted asking which bus I was taking home. I said I hoped 5:20, but 5:35 if I missed it. He rushed and ran and got on the 5:20 bus and...I wasn't there. In fact I was still at my desk. Sad day. And I didn't make the 5:35. In fact I got on the 6:02. And only then just barely. But I did catch it, so I suppose that is something working. Working late isn't really a big deal either. It's just that...I wanted to come home to study because...I have an exam in slightly over a day and...I haven't even made it through all the material yet. Did I mention that part? Yeah. I'm just a /little/ bit behind on my studying.

    Then I get home and see that our shirts for the Amazing Milwaukee Race had arrived. This is another good thing. The race is super cool thing, too. Anyone that lives in or around Milwaukee should come play. June 11th. That's in 19 days. Teams of 2. Run around the city. Good times. We got 4th place last year. Improvement is required.

    Another thing about getting home is...more stuff went bad. E took the little one out for dinner because he did super well in school today. They got home and it was pretty much bedtime. Then E was going to drive to the end of dance class and to hang out with some dance folks after cos it's the last night for one of the instructors to...instruct. I really wanted to go, but unfortunately this blasted exam takes precedence. Boo on me for being responsible.

    So it's time to go. I tell E the car keys are in my purse. He looks. Asks if they're in some secret pocket. I say no. Have him hand me the purse. The keys are not there. This is not good. The reason this is not good is because the keys in my purse are the 2nd set of keys. The 1st set is MIA. And E drove the little one to school today and when we were on the bus on the way to work I specifically asked for the keys back so the 2nd set wouldn't get lost. Like...using those exact words. And what do I do? Lose them. I do think I maybe know where they are. Maybe. My only guess is that they got left on my desk at work. If they are not there, then...who knows? But I'm not going to work tomorrow. And I was supposed to take my car in for an oil change tomorrow. I was all excited because the places around here are only open M-F and I work M-F, which makes getting there harder. And since I have off it was going to be PERFECT! Only now I have no keys with which to move my car. AND because E was going to pick me up after dropping off the little one at work and we were going to drive into work, my car is parked on the street (since he got back before the bus came, we parked the car and quick ran to the bus stop). And it's parked on the EVEN side of the street. And today, being the 23rd is an ODD day. Which means I'll probably get a parking ticket (but there have been days when they didn't drive by our street, so there is a chance). Thankfully we share cars in this community, so E could just take the other community car to drive up. Actually, he decided to bike. But he could have driven.

    But that doesn't stop me from feeling bad for messing up his plans and making him late.

    And I didn't have time to fill out my timesheet for last week before I left even though my manager asked me to.

    And I forgot to print out my NTS form that I have to have with me when I go to take the exam on Wednesday. And I'm not sure we have a functioning printer or paper here. Both can be sporadic. Though I suppose if I find out that I did leave my keys at work I can print it out when I go in to pick them up tomorrow.

    So really, I know none of this is a big deal. And things will be fine. And I'll study a lot tomorrow and pass my test on Wednesday (though i won't get score results for probably a month at least)...but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. And I had a freak out moment tonight. And I kind of want to run away.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

  • Bad bad bad.

    Did I mention that I'm feeling super stressed today and my brain is freaking out? Cos that's what's happening.

    Pretty rare occurrence for me, but there you have it. Even I succumb sometimes.

    There are many little accumulators that add to this. I'd go into them now....but I'm too stressed to think about making a list about what is making me so stressed right now.

     

    Bad bad bad.

lauralen

  • Visit lauralen's Xanga Site
    • Name: Lauren
    • Location: Rockford, Illinois, United States
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/26/2003
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